Oluzungu

Oluzungu si lwaffe was my colleagues blithe reply as he waved away any attempts I made to try and correct his mistake in grammar. There are several mistakes that have over the years become so common and widely committed that almost everybody I come into contact with who blatantly murders the English language doesn’t realize the hurt they cause my ears.

I am going to try and list a few of these mistakes most of which I have been hearing since Primo, that’s slang for primary Emi in case you’ve some how forgotten, you Matale old boy. Speaking of slang there are quite a few Kampalan slang words that I find quite interesting and others that just bore me to death for their senselessness, I will in the course of this post try and outline those that shouldn’t have been forged in the first place.

Borrow me 10,000/- :- now this one just makes me want to take a sledgehammer and smash someone to pulp, meanings of simple words like lend and borrow should be easy to grasp, no?

What sauce did you have for lunch? This one I have never come to accept even one bit coz sauce is a paste or some sort of curry and has never been a reference to soup or stew.

B2B is stubborn: - I bet you heard that phrase a lot in school Basix, probably got used to the sound of it too, not me dude, how come the word naughty has never entered our vocabulary? coz stubborn simply means something else altogether.

Been a while since I head this one - How do you make it? : - dude you need to back the fuck up.

Where did you eat your Christmas? : - with the rate at which Easters and Christmases are killed and eaten it’s a wonder we have any left to celebrate and Erique please don’t ask me for your Easter coz I sure as hell don’t keep Easters in my locker.

Banange that’s a good shoe: - Dear Chanel I have two shoes that collectively are referred to as a pair of shoes thank you very much, same goes for a trouser.

There are plenty of irritating mistakes in English and worthless slang most of which I have banished from my memory but the one kids these days use that just gives me an ulcer is ‘Zibs’ to mean problems or Bizibu. Zibs puts an enormous strain on my teeth and lips it is a whole lot easier to say Bizibu and get it over with.

Shule: - I admit I did accept this one albeit with some reservations, maybe even used it once or twice but I still maintain it should be relegated to that crop of words that need to be decommissioned.

My co-news anchor is particularly fond of using shortforms like ‘mona’ and ‘yesto’, its okay for kids I guess but for a man who is fast approaching 30 I feel embarrassed on his behalf.

GUESS AM OUT or should I say I have 'Buled'

Before I bule her's one I just remembered- 'I just 'chall' the stuff or we just 'challed' sincerely the word is just irritating, twisting words for slangs sake is despicable.

I've bust for real.