Saturday, December 27, 2008

Don't let monkeys ruin your party.

I know I said I don't make new year resolutions but there are certain faults that I must mend if I am to have a prosperous new year as all the christmas cards I have received wish me to. Before I proceed I would live to make it abundantly clear that when I put my mind on doing something I more often that not see it out to its full conclusion(Ask the women). While we are on the subject I would also like to point out if I may that the fulfillment of any goal is based on the firm belief of a positive outcome, any doubts or misgivings will most certainly put paid to your ambitions.

That said you need to have steadfast faith in your abilities to acheive your dream and you must never waver even in the face of great adversity, it's called perseverance and it can be demonstrated by this little fact I learnt from a Chinese bamboo grower.

You take a little seed, plant it, water it, and fertilize it for a whole year, and nothing happens.The second year you water and fertilize it, and nothing happens.The third year you water it and fertilize it, and nothing happens. How discouraging this becomes!The fourth year you water it and fertilize it, and nothing happens. This is very frustrating.The fifth year you continue to water and fertilize the seed and then sometime during the fifth year, the Chinese bamboo tree sprouts and grows ninety feet in six weeks. Don't know about you but Me i would have given up in the second year and moved on to sugarcane (don't always practise what i preach).

Live your life according to your own rules and ideas, accept advice only to further your goal and don't let your beliefs to be diluted by attitudes and popular agenda, but this may be quite difficult as this experiment found.

There was an interesting experiment that started with five monkeys in a cage. A banana hung inside the cage with a set of steps placed underneath it. After a while, a monkey went to the steps and started to climb towards the banana, but when he touched the steps, he set off a spray that soaked all the other monkeys with cold water. Another monkey tried to reach the banana with the same result. It didn't take long for the monkeys to learn that the best way to stay dry was to prevent any monkey from attempting to reach the banana.The next stage of the experiment was to remove the spray from the cage and to replace one of the monkeys with a new one. Of course, the new monkey saw the banana and went over to climb the steps. To his horror, the other monkeys attacked him. After another attempt, he learnt that if he touched the steps, he would be assaulted.Next, another of the original five was replaced with a new monkey. The newcomer went to the steps and was attacked. The previous newcomer joined in the attack with enthusiasm!Then, a third monkey was replaced with a new one and then a fourth. Every time a newcomer approached the steps, he was attacked. Most of the monkeys beating him had no idea why they were not allowed to climb the steps or why they were joining in the beating of the newest monkey.After replacing the fifth monkey, none of the monkeys had ever been sprayed with water. Still, no monkey ever approached the steps. Why not? Because as far as they knew it was the way it had always been done around here.

New year wishes to Lulu, Jny, Cheri, UGgirl, Emi's, Apr9, Nevender, Erique, Angela, Mudamuli, Tamzel, Robyn, Silverbow, Eizzy and all the bloggers who have made my stay in Blogistan a blast.

Surely you didn't expect me to make resolutions, did you?

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Don't mean to dampen your spirit.

I just can't get the song out of my head its such a catchy tune as the kind only Akon can churn out, i keep singing it unconsciously even when in the ............the video is well directed and gets u reminiscing about a lost love who used to mean so much but is lost forever. the theme of the video is money cant get u everything, when u have all the money in the world the one thing that will remain elusive is that one true love u cherish the most.

Is it true that obscenely wealthy people have an empty hole in their hearts that can only be filled by a soulmate who is true and committed? that question is directed to Blogsville's tycoon, aint saying no names she knows who she is. If the divorce rate in Hollywood is anything to go by then one can surmise that the rich marry and date for publicity, status and more wealth and end up even more miserable than before.

Just in case i haven't wished u all a merry christmas just remember that i am a certified scroooge the X-mas spirit vanished after S.6 and ever since then the day is just another excuse to binge drink and gate crash parties, i dont give gifts and i dont receive any and i just cant wait for it all to be over so prices for just about everything from a safety pin to a friggin pint can go back to normal. (pauses for breath)

What did you say Lulu? Oh! the new year, now theres a reason to smile, matter of fact am grinning from ear to ear. Out with the old and in with the new, that goes for your pink sweater as well my dear and no am not giving up my faded grey jumper . I have never made a newyears resolution in my life because i don't wanna kid myself and i have no specific goals or objectives, a ship without a sail is how u might describe me, but i've got a pretty good 160h.p. outboard motor

I wanna make up right now na na , i wanna make up right now na na , wish we never broke up right now na na, we need to link up right now na na .......... that's part of the chorus to Akons 'Right here' single.

Happy Holidays amigos.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Live your life paper chasers.

There is an allure about the forbidden that the human mind finds doubly hard to resist. To the human psyche the prohibited and dangerous will always remain like a nagging question to which we desperately seek an answer. From the minute Eve couldn’t find the power to resist taking a bite the whole of humanity was forever afflicted with the same burning desire to venture into the illicit and unknown.

More rules are broken not so much for the profit as for the thrill of going against the establishment or the adventure of doing wrong

To handle a difficult child you sometimes need to tell the kid to do the opposite of what you actually want the child to do - Child psychology101, it’s called reverse psychology and it works like magic because we are rebels by nature, yes, rebels- if you doubt ask Lot’s wife Oh! Right pillars of salt cant speak.

So my dear
Emi’s when your girl uses a different oil rig other than yours to drill her well just remember she still loves you very much, she just had to find out how it felt to cheat on her loving, doting beau.

I've always wondered what it feels like to be high on Marijuana,
Jny25 whose your supplier?
Oops! sorry, didn't mean to let everyone know

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Uganda Yaffe!

A woman takes on her husbands name when married. Her last name is relegated to the rubbish heap of youth the minute she says ‘I do’ but only in Uganda does she lose her first name as well the minute she pops a tot. The second she takes up office in the ministry of maternal affairs she might as well say goodbye to both her maiden names, where in the first instance she became mukyala Erique, when she gives birth to Erique’s brat she becomes mama junior. Even Erique the educated plutocrat will find it hard to remember that she was once the proud bearer of the lovely name Cheri………“Mama junior could u answer the door please”

Only in Uganda do you go through the frustration of having to sit in a boiling hot kamunye in the stifling afternoon heat as passengers slowly board the motorized death trap one by stupid one, all this time the taxi driver not the real driver though is revving the engine and moving the taxi back and forth to give you the impression its about to leave and just when u think the conductor has finally decided its time to leave one halfwit of a taxi broker thumps the car body with his calloused hand sending a signal to the supposed driver meaning ‘passenger ahoy’ "Kamwokya Wandegeya" he yells at the approaching figure- the expected ‘passenger’ happens to be a passerby just going about his business and more precious minutes are wasted, by this time
Lulu is frantic and incensed she curses under her breath but knows that no amount of insults will force the imbeciles to get moving. That’s not even the half of it, when its time for the taxi to finally accelerate for real, the pretend driver jumps out and in sits the real driver but here’s the shocker- three or four ‘passengers’ jump out of the taxi and receive 100 shilling each from the conductor- the nasty buggers were all this time in the employ of the pea sized brain conductor just whiling away in the bloody taxi to make it look occupied so they could dupe you into boarding their tin can. I would like rant about these brokers blocking passengers from boarding a taxi of their choice but I will not risk getting a seizure at this point.

And only in Uganda does a father behead both his twins for money.

It felt good to be back until I read that story in the papers, what a way to end your leave.

I sure as hell missed blogsville.

Love U All

Thursday, December 4, 2008


I just read a few posts from my favorite bloggers that got me thinkin about marriage again(yeah i know yawn yawn) but i just have to go there, petesmama warned 'AIDS kills dont be silly put a rubber on your willy' and Erique was goin' on about all the shit he ought to do before taking the plunge.

Monday was world AIDS day- 1st DEC is the day the world reflects on this killer virus that has threatened to obliterate entire villages, orphaned as well as killed millions of children and contiunues its wanton destruction unabated. On this dayHeads of state promise to spare no resource in eradicating the deadly virus and various stakeholder endlessly preach behavioural and attitude based approaches to combating the disease, you obviously know them by heart just like a bobi wine song that won't go away Wabula ndi Mazi mawanvu Abstain or use a condom E'Kampala wuliomu asiba kiwani know your status get tested for HIV ...........

On 1st DEC I read or did i hear it on the radio--statistics indicate that new infections are higher between married couples than unmarried.

So what does that say about trusting your partner. I guess it means that Ugandans have totally erased the word trust from their vocabulary and if u do intend to get married better take your partner for english lessons as opposed to marriage counselling. Or u might end up at Petesmamas Dad's clinic, Oh! thats right he hasn't got a cure for that Mother *.