Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Uganda Yaffe!

A woman takes on her husbands name when married. Her last name is relegated to the rubbish heap of youth the minute she says ‘I do’ but only in Uganda does she lose her first name as well the minute she pops a tot. The second she takes up office in the ministry of maternal affairs she might as well say goodbye to both her maiden names, where in the first instance she became mukyala Erique, when she gives birth to Erique’s brat she becomes mama junior. Even Erique the educated plutocrat will find it hard to remember that she was once the proud bearer of the lovely name Cheri………“Mama junior could u answer the door please”

Only in Uganda do you go through the frustration of having to sit in a boiling hot kamunye in the stifling afternoon heat as passengers slowly board the motorized death trap one by stupid one, all this time the taxi driver not the real driver though is revving the engine and moving the taxi back and forth to give you the impression its about to leave and just when u think the conductor has finally decided its time to leave one halfwit of a taxi broker thumps the car body with his calloused hand sending a signal to the supposed driver meaning ‘passenger ahoy’ "Kamwokya Wandegeya" he yells at the approaching figure- the expected ‘passenger’ happens to be a passerby just going about his business and more precious minutes are wasted, by this time
Lulu is frantic and incensed she curses under her breath but knows that no amount of insults will force the imbeciles to get moving. That’s not even the half of it, when its time for the taxi to finally accelerate for real, the pretend driver jumps out and in sits the real driver but here’s the shocker- three or four ‘passengers’ jump out of the taxi and receive 100 shilling each from the conductor- the nasty buggers were all this time in the employ of the pea sized brain conductor just whiling away in the bloody taxi to make it look occupied so they could dupe you into boarding their tin can. I would like rant about these brokers blocking passengers from boarding a taxi of their choice but I will not risk getting a seizure at this point.

And only in Uganda does a father behead both his twins for money.

It felt good to be back until I read that story in the papers, what a way to end your leave.

I sure as hell missed blogsville.

Love U All


  1. i sure as h---heaven missed you carsozy! meanwhile i am about to head out to catch another of th3m dreaded taxis and i thought we were gonna win the zain hONDAS... NOW WE ARE LEFT WITH UTL PRIMIOS... why did you take leave and leave me to nesh!
    good to have you bakc though
    but it is all aover the world that 10 yr old boys kill their fathers for beeating their mamas...right? :)

  2. i even forgot to say socks... ive got peppermint coloured ones for you!

  3. nice to have yu back mr Carsozy.

    taxi guys are such a pain especially the ones
    at Ntinda stage. yu se bu funny passengers all dirty dirty kumbe they are bu touts and conductors. And when yu opt for the boda x2s, they only offer yu a death ride and their jacket's too dirty to bare(is that the sp)
    But again, this is the same Uganda that is beaten by only a few countries when it comes to having pareeeeeeeeee.
    I love Uganda.

  4. I have refused...From Cheri I become Mukyala Erique. Lol

    Are u proposing to me for Erique, or vice versa? Erique, Coo, see this...?

    True true about that...People dump names faster than u can pronounce their maiden names. I will not throw mine. The dude with actually take on my surname.

    -Miss Cheri

  5. lol...nice to have you back..where had you gone...anywhere nice...?

    Only in Uganda do you find the most amazing, interesting people..

    Happy holidays.

  6. Mon Cheri - if u didn't like the match there is always Will Smith i think i can get him to dump Jada, but i dont think he will take to being called Will Buttercookie.

  7. UG Girl - YES I did go somewhere nice at least to me it was- my mums' east or west.....blah! blah!

  8. I wouldn't mind my name changing to some cool name of my husbands. But if my baby start calling me 'auntie' because he hears my hubby calling me that, it will be war.

  9. Not buttercookie. He'll like Will Darling. From Sherry Darling.

    Not u're speaking my lingo.

  10. Welcome back, welcome back
    Welcome back.....

    Great to have you back. How was that leave?

    It's only in Uganda that you have to bargain with the conductor what amount of money to pay for the fare. Also, every passenger has their own unique price, I always hated dressing up fly because it only meant paying more shs to the conductor's.

    Mbu Will Darling lol, I've hahahad you Sherry Darling what's wrong with the other perspective?

  11. Emi's - leave was exhilarating i took it to get away from my stressing monotonous 9 to 9 job, but i guess i should be grateful for all that i have because of David (a friend) who came back from abroad with the benjies which we gleefuly spent but his is hard earned dough, the dude is a guard in Falujah.

  12. And it's only in Uganda where you try to get out of that particular taxi and they refuse you..... So many things about Uganda that just amuse me