A woman takes on her husbands name when married. Her last name is relegated to the rubbish heap of youth the minute she says ‘I do’ but only in Uganda does she lose her first name as well the minute she pops a tot. The second she takes up office in the ministry of maternal affairs she might as well say goodbye to both her maiden names, where in the first instance she became mukyala Erique, when she gives birth to Erique’s brat she becomes mama junior. Even Erique the educated plutocrat will find it hard to remember that she was once the proud bearer of the lovely name Cheri………“Mama junior could u answer the door please”
Only in Uganda do you go through the frustration of having to sit in a boiling hot kamunye in the stifling afternoon heat as passengers slowly board the motorized death trap one by stupid one, all this time the taxi driver not the real driver though is revving the engine and moving the taxi back and forth to give you the impression its about to leave and just when u think the conductor has finally decided its time to leave one halfwit of a taxi broker thumps the car body with his calloused hand sending a signal to the supposed driver meaning ‘passenger ahoy’ "Kamwokya Wandegeya" he yells at the approaching figure- the expected ‘passenger’ happens to be a passerby just going about his business and more precious minutes are wasted, by this time Lulu is frantic and incensed she curses under her breath but knows that no amount of insults will force the imbeciles to get moving. That’s not even the half of it, when its time for the taxi to finally accelerate for real, the pretend driver jumps out and in sits the real driver but here’s the shocker- three or four ‘passengers’ jump out of the taxi and receive 100 shilling each from the conductor- the nasty buggers were all this time in the employ of the pea sized brain conductor just whiling away in the bloody taxi to make it look occupied so they could dupe you into boarding their tin can. I would like rant about these brokers blocking passengers from boarding a taxi of their choice but I will not risk getting a seizure at this point.
And only in Uganda does a father behead both his twins for money.
It felt good to be back until I read that story in the papers, what a way to end your leave.
I sure as hell missed blogsville.
Love U All